


it's killing me to see you this way

by imadetheline



Series: Breathe In, Breathe Out [10]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Bacta Tank (Star Wars), Father-Son Relationship, FebuWhump2021, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Whump, darth vader's burns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29349180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imadetheline/pseuds/imadetheline
Summary: febuwhump day ten - "i'm sorry. i didn't know"
Relationships: Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader
Series: Breathe In, Breathe Out [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140389
Comments: 22
Kudos: 128
Collections: Luke and Vader Bonding, febuwhump 2021





	it's killing me to see you this way

**Author's Note:**

> title from little talks by of monsters and men
> 
> also written for this prompt on tumblr:
> 
> "Would you consider writing a moment where Luke walks in on Vader in a bacta tank and is HORRIFIED of the pain his father's in and insists on surgery or whatever, Vader says something like Palps said nothing more could be done, and Luke yells at him for believing that monster?"
> 
> thank you so much!

Luke doesn’t think about it when he opens the door to his father’s medbay with a wave of his hand, following his father’s presence more than any real direction. He’s skimming a datapad of notes about the Rebellion’s movements that he’d helped coordinate with some choice information to Leia. They need help to kill the emperor, after all. And he doesn’t look up, already speaking, “Leia says things are going well on her end. I think we’re almost-” He glances up, stopping in his tracks, finally realizing where he is. The medbay’s walls are as dark as every other part of the ship. Except this is the one part of the Executor he’s not supposed to be in. He hadn’t even noticed.

But that thought only flashes through his head for a fleeting moment before all his attention is consumed by the bacta tank on the far side of the room. The lighting is dim, but the liquid almost seems to glow, and there’s no one else who could be inside it, here, in Darth Vader’s personal medbay. Blue eyes are staring right at him, through the liquid.

He takes a half step backward, datapad hanging loosely in his grip, already stuttering out an apology, “I- I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I-”

The mental voice of his father cuts him off.  _ It’s alright, Luke _ .

It sounds softer than his father’s normal tones, even across their bond, like he’s tired… or sad. But his shields are tightly closed. Luke takes a step closer, his curiosity urging him onwards now that he knows his father isn’t going to rage against him being in here. He’d known Vader’s suit contained life-support, but seeing him here makes that seem like an understatement. Every limb is prosthetic, and here without them, he seems smaller. Even through the bacta, his father’s skin is pale and lined with scars. It seems almost like… burns. But how would that have happened? And why haven’t they healed?

_ You should leave, my son. _ Vader’s still looking at him, his gaze tracking Luke as he moves closer to the bacta tank.

But Luke barely even registers his father’s words in his head, already speaking, “Are you okay? How did this happen?” He feels an unfamiliar surge of anger in his chest at whoever had dared do this to his father. Vader blinks at the flood of emotion, and Luke notices his mistake, hurriedly raising his shields. 

For a moment, they stay there, and Luke shifts uncomfortably. He wonders if Vader heard him through the transparisteel. But then,  _ it matters not, child. It was long ago. _ And there’s rage there, yes, but also grief. Luke knows his father enough to know that. Also, he’s relatively sure Vader’s not fully lucid because his shields are fluctuating, like the surface of a sea disturbed by strong emotions rising from the deep.

And that wasn’t an answer to Luke’s question, but it’s not what he wants to press right now. He steps closer, flesh hand raising to the transparisteel between them. It’s cold beneath his fingers. “Are you alright?” he whispers into the darkness. The words go unanswered, his father staring back at him with only unintelligible whispers falling past his shields. But the silence is answer enough. Luke presses his hand harder against the transparisteel as if he can reach through and make his father understand, “Why didn’t you get treatment? Surely, there’s more that can be-”

_ There is nothing. _

Luke finally feels the familiar tendrils of his father’s rage, powerful but not as controlled as they usually are because of the drugs in his system. Luke scowls at his father’s stubbornness, “I’ve never heard of a wound that wasn’t immediately fatal that couldn’t be better treated than this!” He gestures with his right hand at Vader’s scarred and unhealed skin. Surely, his father can see that this isn’t healthy, and there are ways to help.

Then Luke senses a crack in Vader’s shields, the drugs slackening his control. There are whispers of surprise and disbelief, but also warmth, and Luke’s heart aches that his father would be surprised that Luke cares. 

But then the crack is widening, emotions spilling out, and Luke tries to raise his shields to block their bond, but it’s too late. The pain crashes into him. Pain like nothing he’s ever felt. An ache racing across his skin, burning a path through him. Every breath is agony. Luke stumbles backward, doubled over, hand clutching at his hair. Somewhere in the back of his head, he knows it’s not his pain, but it doesn’t matter. Not when his skin is cracking, and it won’t stop. He wants it to stop.  _ Make it stop. _

_ Luke!  _ And then suddenly it does.

He sucks a breath into uninjured lungs, a hand wrapped around his stomach, and slowly straightens his spine, still trying to steady his breathing and wrap his mind around the complete lack of pain in his limbs. The sudden absence is startling after the bone-deep ache from a moment before. Luke blinks, raising his head, and meets his father’s eyes through the transparisteel once more. They’re blue and wide and sad, and Luke finally, in that one horrific moment, understands. But he needs to hear it from his father. 

The words come out in a rush of breath, like he hasn’t yet remembered how to talk, “Was that-” He doesn’t know how to say it. “Is that what you’re feeling?”

Vader’s shields are tightly closed, keeping the pain locked up after his slip, and his eyes shutter as Luke searches his face.  _ I am sorry, my son. I did not mean for you to f- _

But Luke already knows he’s sorry. That isn’t what he needs to know. “Is it?” he asks again, more urgently, cutting him off.

A pause and then,  _ yes. _

And with that one word, all the shock, the numbness, the horror is gone, washed away in the tide of Luke’s righteous fury. He whirls on his foot, throwing his hands up, looking up at the ceiling, “You feel that all the time, and you still believe nothing can be done?!”

_ Sidious has said- _

Luke whirls back to his father, his eyebrows drawn together, “And you believed him?? Father, you don’t have to live like this!” He gestures wildly to the dark medbay, to the detached prosthetics he’s finally noticed on a table near the tank. And then he meets his father’s gaze again, and his voice softens as he steps back towards the bacta tank, “Let me help you.” He knows his father doesn’t think there’s anything that can be done, doesn’t think he deserves care. And maybe he doesn’t, but Luke’s never cared for what people are deserving of anyway. So he pleads, with all the love in his heart, “Trust me.”

And those blue eyes stare back as he pours the care and the trust over their bond, and finally…  _ I do trust you, Luke. Always. _

It’s sincere, and Luke feels the tears that sting at his eyes at the clear, unwavering trust in him filtering over their bond. He knows Vader doesn’t fully believe there could ever be more for him, but he’s going to help his father, whether he wants it or not. And for now, this is enough. He steps forward, bringing his hand up again, and this time he closes his eyes and rests his forehead against the bacta tank too, cool against his skin. 

The transparisteel is too thick for him to feel anything through it, but he doesn’t need that to know his father’s forehead is resting across from his, just as he doesn’t need it to know something’s changed in his father since Bespin.

And after all these years wishing for a father, Luke finally has one, and he won’t lose him again. But, yes, for now, this is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys liked it leave a comment. They make my day! Seriously I love reading them so please leave me one cause they motivate me to write more! if you guys have ideas for other stories send me an ask on tumblr [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/imadetheline) or just yell about stuff with me. Info about me and all my other tumblrs are [here](https://infoabtmaddie.carrd.co/#)


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